Friday, November 25, 2005
TV auction channels
You know, 'Bid TV', that sort of thing. Or, as we refer to them in our house, comedy channels. They're usually so awful that they're funny. You've got some camp-looking guy with a cheesy accent and equally cheesy and ingratiating smile calling you 'mate' and 'darling' (depending on whether he's aiming the product at men or women) and referring to everything as already yours. E.g. 'Here's yer strap, here's yer fake-diamond encrusted watch face, here's yer remote control'. I'M NOT YOUR MATE and I DON'T WANT TO OWN ANY OF THE STUFF YOU'RE SELLING! Really. Most of it's jewellery anyway. The funniest (or most awful, depending on how you look at it) bit is when the item is quite, quite dreadful (a £30 plastic animated loony tunes tribute clock springs to mind) and the presenter has to go on and on (and on) about it being such a special item for as long as it takes the 500 units in the channel's inventory to sell. Which could be a while.